Paradox

Clothes that do no clothe,
Friends that make you feel alone
Bored with so much to do

Filled pockets, empty souls
Fake originals, true lies
How can we celebrate nature using radioactive metallic rectangles?

It's pretty sad and messed up
But I should know
Tears are shed only for attention sometimes

Don't point out at me
I weep in solitude
And so does my heart soar when I'm alone
Because no one knows happiness anymore

Social media that makes us unsocial
Bodies that tire doing nothing
Beautiful faces everywhere but rarely any beautiful souls

Every man in a suit,
But not one gentleman
Freedom in chains, selfish charity

Are these the days they hoped for us?
Out of prisons into new ones
Out of love into hate
"It's my life, I'll do what I want to", they say
And then return to carry on in bondage

Papers are fine, hands are cut
God is ridiculed but darkness is "cool"
Society is absurd I say
This paradox that has been accepted as "normal"

Originally Published in the Andrannual 2016-2017

A perfect world

What if the world as you know it today....all the chaos, scandals, disasters and crime just suddenly disappear overnight?
Imagine that world of perfection. No more problems, the absolute definition of most people's perfect world... A happening reality.

Sounds beautiful, doesn't it?

But here's the flip side.... Would we be happy then? And does a perfect world ensure perfectly satisfied people? Would that finally calm our restless hearts?
 
Or would a perfect world be a problem by itself?

Does everything that we consider virtuous, beautiful and right.... Once achieved...actually produce everlasting happiness in people?

I love striving for perfection, most of us do, intentionally or unintentionally.
But if perfection was already achieved...What would our purpose on this planet be then?

Maybe we'd go into depression over not being able to improve human lives and the world.

Then again, achieving perfection in every respect is a just a dream, because as humans advance, we desire higher standards of perfection, from ourselves, others and what fate decides.

Maybe, just maybe, our problems give us reason enough to live, work and see them get solved. Our problems give us hope and purpose.

Let the tears flow

When asked what's the best thing about being a girl, I say that I am allowed to express myself emotionally without much fear of judgment....which is pretty true especially when expressing sadness in the form of tears.

However, as a young kid, I remember telling myself not to cry.... "Why?" you ask?
Cause I didn't want to be seen as weak, cause there's the stereotype that girls cry and are, therefore, weak. So I wasn't really letting any expectation down if I cried, but I still wouldn't.

I repressed a lot of such negative feelings in the past. But bottling emotions, only created more tension and I'd end up erupting once in while....all the negative emotional stuff.

Recently, I've come to realize that it is unrealistic to be happy all the time.
Many people would agree that it'd be nice to feel happy and hopeful all their lives. But life's tough, okay? And there isn't any shame in being a human with feelings. (Congrats if you are, cause we need more people like you)

Once, a few years back, when I was particularly sad and was crying out to God to take away all my feelings, I remember God telling me that happiness too is a feeling, did I want Him to take that away too?

Of course, it's expected to want to avoid negative feelings. It makes us feel uncomfortable. It even makes other people around us feel uncomfortable.

But maybe we're only uncomfortable because we've not accepted those feelings in ourselves. And that's where the discomfort comes from.

What's so wrong with crying anyway? I can't have it together all the time, No-one can.
It's obvious that I got over my fear of being seen as weak when I cry. Because I learnt that it's normal to.

Anger, sadness, frustration, guilt, fear and anxiety are negative emotions, yes, but to feel and express them in moderation is no crime. Especially sadness, because many avoid it like the plague.
Feelings are just that... Feelings.
They don't make you weak. (Yes, even guys who cry aren't weak)
They don't make you a bad person.
Each of them serve a function. (You could Google it, it's really cool)
They tell us when something is wrong, either with people, situations or maybe even ourselves.

Expressing your feelings properly actually make you feel less burdened by them. It makes you emotionally stronger because you're not afraid of your feelings anymore. It helps you to be there for people going through tough times. And it actually makes you be seen as stronger to some. People feel accepted and understood around you. And so, in return, others don't feel afraid of expressing their feelings around you.

Go into a quiet room, shut the door, sit by yourself, recall something that really hurt you but you never really expressed your sadness about it, cry it out and then move on.
(Be comfortable with your own tears first.)

Tears aren't that big of a deal as people say they are. Trust me, it's only their problem if it is.

An isolated place

Only today I realized how quiet this city could be. It was so quiet that it was almost scary. I'm totally not used to it.

Lonely streets and chilly winds blowing, I could only imagine the worst mayhem that could take place then and there. The chaos can be loud, but it lets me know that something is going on, if not nothing.

The trees offered me sufficient shade but I didn't take it. The people offered me enough mystery but I rejected it.

I really noticed the details, the passing crowds, the useless rickshaws that asked me if I needed them.... I didn't.

Why are things the way they are? Why does it seem there's always so much happening but not here and now?
Maybe they are happening but I'm busy being out of the reach of messagers who tell me everything but what I want to hear.

People can be disappointing. And some places bring out the memories of such difficult people.
But thankfully not all my memories of are bad and most are good to me.  

Like this place here, a place I've isolated for a long time.
Coming back here is like time travel. I still remember when you walked down this road and stood there beside me. I would like you to be here even now.
But wherever you are, the choice you've made or life made for you, I hope you're happy...no, happier.

Travel diary : Few days ago

How to make many friends

I love all my friends and sometimes I wonder how I have so many. I mean, seriously, cause I spend most of my time eating or sleeping at home.
It is a surprise isn't it? 
Well, everyone likes a little company no matter how much of an anti-social or a social butterfly they are.
And in my adventures and misadventures in pushing myself to go and meet new people, I learnt many things which I shall share with you in this post...
1. Be sensitive to facial responses while speaking
Be acquainted with sufficient amounts of EQ.
Because by these, you'll know how to direct the conversation.

2. Trash the shy label 
Many people who think they're bad at making friends are often told that they are shy and reserved. Then those people accept those labels and conform to it. Well guess what? I know it, cause I've experienced it. It's best to leave such labels in the trash, whether or not you like the person who gave it to you. 

No person really is shy, they just need the right kind of people to feel comfortable enough to talk and be themselves. 

What is shy anyway? 
3. Throw away prejudices and baseless judgments about people you've not really met personally 
We miss out a lot of great friends because of our assumptions about them or their types. Give people a chance....at least one?

4. Start with a hello
Even if you don't know how to initiate a conversation with a stranger, just say a friendly "Hello". It's like saying, "I am acknowledging your existence". Maybe they will ignore you, maybe they'll be the ones to start a conversation with you or maybe...

5. They could be rude
But it's still good to try. Is saying "Hello" really that offensive? No. But at least you kept the door open and that's what matters, regardless of whether or not a person took that invitation. Besides, there are many other awesome people that could be your friend.

6. Help someone
The easiest way to talk to someone new is to help someone clearly struggling, by asking them if they need help. If they reject you, again, it's fine. At least they know you're there. 

7. Attend contests and events
Another easy way is to go to such places that encourage meeting new people. Never mind those over-competitive people though, they can be mean at times. 

8. Push yourself
Force yourself to initiate friendships and meet new people, it really benefits you. Try, eventually, you'll gain confidence.
There's no-one who isn't at least slightly afraid of rejection or embarrassing themselves. It's human to feel this way and even if you mess up, they'll probably forget it in no time anyway. (Also you should be proud that you tried, regardless of results and learn from every opportunity you get)

9. Keep realistic goals
Start small and make it an aim to gain people's trust, appreciate them for being themselves, take care of them and help them believe in themselves. Friendships are all about helping each other be the best they can be.

10. Keep a friend crush list
A list of people you think are completely awesome and you would like to befriend in the near future. This should at least exist in your mind. And please do try to talk to them someday.

11. People can suck
Having a lot of friends are great but they can be mean and terrible sometimes. No person is perfect no matter how it seems on the outside, give them a break, they're human. And guess what? So are you.
(Though you totally can cut ties with friends who are particularly hurtful and toxic even after you've tried telling them how their behavior is affecting you)

Happy befriending, I guess?

The unlikely Catalyst, Competition

Competitions.
Ask any student of this city, they'll tell you how tough the competition in academics are these days. 

And often times, it's very discouraging when you work hard to pass or top your studies and then end up failing, barely passing or not becoming a topper.
Sometimes, it's almost expected of us to choose smaller dreams just because of the state of competitive exams. We're always bombarded with the feeling of inadequacy and that's very disheartening. It's painful to know your best wasn't good enough.

Recently I was reminded of how we would compete with everyone about everything, besides tests, back in school....walking, writing notes, eating, being the most popular and so on.
People love to compete. And some people only live for it. Without it, their life becomes incomplete.

It's good to have achievements. It's good to aim for the top. It's good to want to improve your skills and talents.

But what I've seen is that people base their self-worth by the results they get in a competition. I've fallen prey to this stupidity too.
I used to feel so insignificant whenever I lost and felt superior to everyone whenever I won.

Some other lame-os used to cheat to make it on the top. And that just makes us feel worse about our honest failures.

This is life. This concept of winners and losers is so uncertain. The situation can change overnight sometimes. All it takes is one step, one chance or one right move....and? You've made it big.

Especially when we lose, we claim the winners had an unfair advantage. And you know what? That could be true.
People of all kinds have different things holding us back or giving us privileges in various ways that do make tests seem so unjust. But that's a reality we need to understand, there's no one platform in which we're all the same no matter how much we try. (though it's a great ambition)
Starting from the bottom is different for everyone. So is how easy or difficult it is for individuals to achieve the same task.

Though that even isn't the attitude we're supposed to have in a competition.
Competitions propels us to higher levels of our abilities. It gives us the motivation to do better. Having good competitors makes us feel like working harder. It's fine to take competitions seriously but not so seriously that you get extremely stressed out and forget everyone participating are humans... Flawed yet amazing, hidden with unknown potential and greatness.
Everything isn't a competition.

Like, yeah, you are going to eventually going to get better at what you do regardless. But there's something about competing with others that pushes the rate at which you grow.
It's sort of like a catalyst.
But it can only be a catalyst if you see it that way.

Don't let your success or failure determine your worth. You are precious regardless.

Us v/s Them

Growing up into the education system, I've come across many teachers and professors who have encouraged me to ask, think and reason everything around me that demands that I act, feel or think in a certain way.

I'm so grateful to know how to ask questions and to have the patience required to seek out their answers.

People have lots of ulterior motives for why they want to change the opinions of others....it could benefit them in ways indirectly...it would comfort their fears, destroy their enemies' reputation, give them a more followers, get themselves fame and fortunes....just if people stay gullible, passive and agreeable to just about anything that covers itself as the truth. 

I have fallen prey to many of such lies as a child and probably still have many of those lies floating around in my sub-conscious mind even today. 

But at least now I have a secret weapon which is not so secret...The gift of the Holy Spirit. And due to this, I'm certain that if there's any lie I believe right now, God will pull me out of it into the Truth. 

"However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come." John 16:13 (NKJV)

Believing lies about myself, my community and other communities for so many years have had its damages. And I don't want anyone going through that dark sad road. 
Every time I've accepted a lie as the truth, it has always left me confused and restless.

"And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” John 8:32 (NKJV)

"Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed." John 8:36 (NJKV) 

A major pattern I've seen in such lies is that they try to divide people into an "Us verses Them". Sometimes, even "Me verses Myself".

It's so easy to build walls, barriers and limit the happiness of this human life. But it takes courage and a sheer amount of confidence in what's right to tear down those boundaries.

Manipulative people thrive over ignorant ones. And as long as you're willing to go with someone else's beliefs without testing their validity, you're only going to live someone else's idea of a good life.... Not the real good life that's destined for you. 

Only you can set yourself free.