Good wishes

I like receiving greeting cards. And recently I got plenty of them. 
It's nice to see how creative we are in our own different ways. Even when we don't put in the effort to think much about our differences. 

The differences seen in design or colour scheme just makes its visible. 

Even hand writings are so different depending on age or mood or training. 
I find it interesting to try figuring out people by the work they put up. Not saying I'm always successful at it. But it's a forever continuing investigation...because like I always say, "People keep changing."

I like birthday cards and cards for special events like first Holy Communion and Confirmation. I have a pile of such cards that I've collected over the years. I keep them safely. 

It's a paper representation of people's love for me. And I will always treasure them. 

Like I already said in this post, I like receiving cards as much as I like giving them. It's like a personal challenge to make them. (cause of varying preferences and events)

I sometimes just start making a card without a plan or end at mind. This is especially easy to do when you're equipped with loads of washi tape, cut outs and colour pencils/crayons. Collages are really fun that way...making something beautiful with whatever you have. 

Bottom line is this...I like it when you make cards for me. Thank you and always do so in the future whenever the occasion permits it. 

Down the hourglass of life

It happened a few years back.....I had just appeared for my music grade exams about that time. My violin teacher called to tell me the letter containing my result had come, so I went to get it.

I was happy with my result. I had scored a wonderful distinction. I was happy...until I saw that all the other students who had scored better than me. Be it even by one mark...but, I felt bad cause I was the oldest appearing for the exam and yet was no match for them.

It's sad. Because now that I'm far from that day, it wasn't that big of a deal as I thought it was. And I feel stupid for making myself feel unworthy in their presence...because I compared.

I wish it was easy to overcome. Wish it didn't matter. Wish I could only look to how great my achievements are than to compare my successes with people around me. 

Yes, I get it. It is probably good and desirable if you are successful early on in life. But not everyone gets to have that. And I also find it very mean and rude when people pressurize you to be successful even though you've been trying for so long. It's doesn't always depend on me...it depends on a multitude of other factors. (I think economically sometimes).

"It's not like I want to fail at this, Aunt!"
"It's not that it's enjoyable for me to be here while everyone else is done with this obstacle and have moved on to other obstacles."

There, I said it. There'll always be obstacles and problems in life. Even if you're a child prodigy with a Master's Degree at 12. Once you've completed one obstacle, there's another lurking around waiting to surprise you after a while. (Obstacles help us grow...maybe that's why we never seem to get rid of them.)

I can't believe how people are so blinded by the average age and time it takes for most people to do something that they just can't accept the fact that some of us are slower or have different destinies written out for us. I do understand why people are fine with geniuses who finish things faster than the average. It's because of the time constraint...everyone was taught from a young age that someday, we're not going to be able to do what we want to after we retire, get married, have children, and eventually, pass on into the mighty heavens. 

But no-one knows who's time here is long or short.  And here's what I like to believe in.... 
Things may not go as per my timing, but when it does, I'm sure that it'll happen when it's right for me.

Our lives are differently shaped hourglasses....with different amounts of sand.....with different speeds at which our sands flow down....some glasses broken. But we're all hourglasses. We're all human. And we'll eventually get to our destinies...at different times, in our our own ways. 

Germophobic

The first thing you'd know when you first meet me is that...I'm a germophobe. 
Yup, that's me.

I wasn't always this way though...I used to love the dirt. I used to play in the soil as a kid and would be really messy and disgusting. But something happened that changed all of that...I became allergic to dust. And over-time, I stayed away from germs too...especially after I found out how dangerous they could be.

Not many people get this.
And so, I constantly get uncomfortable when people at public places sneeze without covering their mouths. Like c'mon, guys, Basic hygiene!
I guess some people's main life ambition is to start an epidemic. 

Not even joking...there have been so many cases of deaths caused by easily preventable diseases had people been more informed about proper sanitation. Really...go check it out for yourself.

Sometimes I really do feel like telling them. 
"Excuse me, ma'am...please cover your mouth while coughing."

But then I don't because...A) That person is most probably way older than me 
B) I'm not their parent to tell them 
C) It's basic personal hygiene which is supposed to be common sense. 
D) I rarely know the language they speak in.
(Another reason is that they may yell at me and I ain't tryna start a fight)

Life's tough for a person with germophobia. 
I even got bullied for it few weeks back, which is like...so stupid cause their "jokes" weren't even funny and I would've laughed with them if it were. (Yes, I don't mind laughing at myself but only if the said joke was actually funny). There are people out there these days with the sole intention to hurt people in order to make themselves feel good about their own insecurities. Go get counselling, ya'll! No, seriously, it does help. 


At the end of the day, I'll admit my germophobia has calmed down a bit over the years as I've been travelling by public transport everyday. But some people's actions still get on my nerves. I tend to tell myself, "I know it's gross but as soon as I get home, I'll wash my face/hands/arms. Just a little while longer, Pearl." 

And guess what? If you're gonna make fun of my germophobia....don't expect me to give you my hand sanitizer when you ask. 

What about you? Do you have mild/severe germophobia? What about your experiences with yucky people/places? Would love to hear from you in the comment section or write to me directly via the contact form at the end of this page. 

Successes

I'm pretty sure many of us these days have a very specific idea of what success is supposed to look like in life...be it our's or another's. 

But having stopped and thought about it, I'm not so sure anymore.
It's actually quite vague.

I remember having written in high school of the fact that success always requires hard work and perseverance, but when it comes to defining success in each one of our lives over time...the answer is always different.
Because it keeps changing perhaps?
Or maybe the image of a person taking a bath with gold coins is too fixated in our minds thanks to all the beliefs we hold about success without really asking why. 

I had based my career path on what job would give me sufficient funds to make my dreams come true...or at least what dreams I'm supposed to have.....A car, a big house, lots of possessions...It's been the dream for many I guess. 

But is being successful only measured in the amount of income one makes? We've all heard of it. Jobs that are noble but don't get paid as much, while there are jobs that are morally and spiritually questionable yet get paid in gold bricks. 
So why do we put up with that kind of painful comparison if it holds no true value and measurement of what good we're actually doing in this world?

It's really all a big sham which we willingly buy into. Sometimes, quite literally. Buying the things people consider valuable without any real use for it. 

Meanwhile, I've not even started my career but I've definitely started questioning it.
But I will start it soon. So, shouldn't I know what I'm aiming for?

We're all going through life in the maze we've all dreaded. Like the one's we used to play with when we were in primary school. A great way to pass your time...but not live out in reality even though most of us are in this maze, making choices without full knowledge of whether or not it will lead us to the place we need to be...many a times, not even knowing what is the place we need to be at.

Like most people, I have no idea what I'm doing in life and I openly admit it. I try not to envy and desire for things of the elite class knowing that there's another side to their successes that we may know nothing of. Blindly wishing for things we don't really need while underestimating things we have that they don't get to have.
We may never know of the people who run charities for the promotion of their own good reputation. We may never know of the rich business class who go to bed everyday with tears. And we may never see the blessings that come to us dressed as problems. 
We may never know. 

Psalm 92:7 (NKJV)
When the wicked spring up like grass,
And when all the workers of iniquity flourish,
It is that they may be destroyed forever.

But know this...you are valuable, important and loved, no matter how much you earn or don't earn. Whether the government includes your hobbies and personal goals as assets for economic growth or not. Whether your family believes in you and your potential or not. 
You are...everything and more. 
You are.

Writing here on this blog for no apparent reason than to spread postivity seems like the most stupid thing a person could do with their free time. But, this is important to me...even if I don't earn from here for the time and effort I put into this endeavor.

Money, I've learnt, isn't always a good measure of how much you're contributing to your society and the world. Especially taking into the consideration of how disastrous some businesses end up after their leaders let money get to their heads.
And sometimes, getting money doesn't always mean that the work you do is good or productive. There are people working all day long in the hot sun for their crops to grow...and what's their reward? Peanuts.
And the rest of the time, it isn't really a big accomplishment, your parents got you an amazing education cause they could afford it and you got to the place where you are not always because you were smart or had potential but because you had the money to make money....not everyone has that. 

Bottom line is this, we, as a society and as individuals need to stop comparing ourselves based on income and possessions because of oh so many factors and variables that we don't consider while determining the "net-worth of someone" verses ourselves...because we don't know the whole story and we don't even know our own. 
We need to do things and our work with a genuine love for the people around us and for the people we come across in this life. Growing as people is way more important than growing our portfolios. And I'm not saying money is a total evil  to society let's get rid of it. I'm saying that money is important, but it's not everything. 

You are more important. 

1 Timothy 6:10 (NKJV)
 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

How I began writing (as a hobby)

These days I am thinking about my past a lot. This one isn't necessary a good memory but everything turned out great for me.

And so the back-story begins...
When I was in the 6th std (or so), our school decided to start publishing a school magazine. And like any of the kids who assumed they were good at English, I decided to sign up for the Editorial Team. It was a fad and a very convenient way to miss classes as a truckload of the work they were about to do would happen during school hours. Also I just wanted to fit in with them cause I thought they were cool.

The teacher in charge held a sort of test by which she would shortlist a few students from the rest to actually be part of this team.
We had to write an imaginary essay on "I got stuck in an elevator and...". 

Now, I wrote a good essay (My 10 year old self thought). But I guess my good wasn't good enough  to them. And then, the next day or so.....the results came in. I didn't get selected.

The way they rejected me also was terrible. All I remember was.....that teacher and 2 or 3 students grinning and telling me that...."No, you're a dreadful writer and you've not been selected for the editorial team."

I was embarrassed, disappointed and greatly angry at them. 
So I decided that I would start writing a personal diary. And I did. Every time I saw those girls go for their editorial team work and saw them happily postponing their work for cracking jokes...I wrote my envy and jealousy down in paper. The editorial team was like the elite class of school and I was the peasant. It was like my world fell apart. 


But I continued writing in my diary. It's been half a decade since I first started. 
Reading through my old diaries I realize how much I've improved in the quality of my writing thanks to that incident. I would've never gotten so good if I wasn't rejected from the Editorial Team. If I read out my first diary's entries to you, you would probably not be able to understand anything.(Even I don't). 
Unless of course you understand gibberish cause that's the closest I can describe my writing back then. 
I guess it's one of those moments of your past which you look back and think to yourself like, "Damn, that hurt but I wouldn't change it for anything."

It's been a process since then. And I'm still improving. My ability to write out my thoughts have become much clearer and the way I perceive life has sharpened. I remember my day more precisely than I used to and the way I talk too has changed....my sentences are more thought of at least.
Language is impactful and the way we say things matter too. It's a skill worth investing your time in. And the returns are plentiful.

A moment that touched me

-Suggested by a Grace Friend

Back when I was in the 8th standard at school, one day, a teacher decided to tell us an incident that changed her life. 

This is what she narrated to us...
I was walking by the canteen and I saw a little primary school girl staring intently at the ground. I looked over to the ground and didn't see anything so I asked her what was she doing. She told me that she was observing ants. I then looked again, and like the little girl said...there were ants...tiny ants going somewhere in a nice neat line. I was surprised to realize how I couldn't see it before. 
As an adult, we tend to overlook the small joys in life, the simple things. We fill our minds with worries and troubles and miss out on opportunities to be content with little things because we deem them insignificant, but in reality they're not. Even little things are important in life.

It was a lovely story. All of us were greatly amused by the simplicity of the little girl. I too was. 
Then our teacher proceeded and asked us, "Maybe that little girl was one of you. Does anyone remember? Was anyone like the little girl as a child?"

Then I realized when I thought a little bit harder... That little girl was me!
I was really touched about how my quirkiness as a child had in fact impacted my teacher so much that she felt it necessary to share this incident with the whole class. (and possibly other classes too) 
I unknowingly had changed someone's perspective. 
I stared blankly back at my teacher, with flushed cheeks but I didn't say a word. 

Now that I think about it, I still have a lot of my quirks. Though they have evolved into other strange behaviors of mine. They aren't necessarily weird. They're just.....different. 

But I know now that, we can influence people a lot...sometimes...by just being ourselves.