The world would be a better place when...

There was a chapter in a book I read lately about the thoughts of a writer explaining how amazing the world would be without poverty...everyone earning and living for themselves without the dependence of the government and non-government organizations to help them because they won't need them.

So this really got me thinking, because poverty isn't the root problem. It's the people who exploit other people because of greed that makes them poor. People can be so selfish. They are completely inhumane when they steal someone's rightful possessions because of their greed. Because for many of the exploited people, that could've been all that they had, all that they could be happy about. And greedy people? Well, they just have their hearts in stone....can't empathize with anybody.

I think, the world would be an amazing place without greed, selfishness and ignorant people. And when I say ignorant people, I don't mean illiterate people because there are so many literate, well-educated people I see around me who have never used their heart to go and help out someone in need. Ignorant people are the ones who'll always believe in the lies that come from the dark creepy corners of cold-souls lusting to deceive someone. Ignorant people are the people who are gullible, they'll just listen to what they think is right without knowing otherwise even if their beliefs have terrible destructive consequences to both themselves and society.

Selfishness is something I don't think I need elaborate much on. Selfish people are everywhere these days. Some people deeply desire power to further fulfill their selfish ambitions in life. For example, the people who aspire to be in big offices and companies in high job positions just so that they have someone below the social stratification to yell at daily. When selfish people get into power, the poor become poorer and the rich become richer because they are the same people who can never think about anyone other than themselves so they don't mind cutting your salary while they petition for a fourth salary rise in this year to their bosses.

And finally greedy people. I think selfishness and greed are two sides of the same coin, because selfish, self-absorbed people are generally really greedy for power, wealth, exploiting others and destroying trust within members of their family and society as a whole.

The world would be a better place when people with soft, loving, generous, humane and kind hearts come into power, being treated not as a oddball in this world, but as the world's true citizen. After all, the world was made and is protected by God from complete doom because of these seemingly few diamonds of people.
And that world would also be a world without poverty, each of its members helping out each other and living in harmony.

Indian Independence Day

It's time you'll know....I'm Indian.

And as much as most of my life I've dreamed about leaving my country in search for a better standard of living, pollution-free life, and so on....I'm pretty proud of my country today.

Taking up Humanities  surely helped change my perspective about India being a terrible country in which human life is unsustainable.

India is one of the only countries in the world with a history so rich with culture and art. Our social structure too is so complex and beautiful.

Yes, we have had our share of problems and still do till date. But the government is trying its best to turn things around and to develop the country.

But because there are are so many differing social and religious groups existing today in India...there will surely be a lot to change before India becomes a fully developed country that values the happiness of its people and its environment.

The population of the country keeps growing. And the news papers these days have forgotten what good news really is. There's religious extremism seen in many places in India....despite the fact all religions here have super old origins of converts in the past. 

These all are true. But I have faith in my country that someday....we will succeed in our efforts to evaluate poverty, corruption, high crime rates and make our industries flourish while caring and nurturing our ecosystem and raise our standard of living as much as possible.

Happy Independence Day, my fellow Indians!

Reading and Learning

Studying. One student's escape and the others reason to want to escape.
It truly is strange how I find learning so interesting. Well, at least the topics I like or am curious about...not all.
Many of my classmates tell me how sick and tired they are just thinking about studying, but me on the other hand....I usually can't relate!
The reason behind this is probably the fact I really enjoy studying and I don't think of it as a burden. Or maybe it's because I'm so used to escaping reality into a world of books...so now, that liking has been generalized with all related aspects.

Many of my classmates think of me as a total book-worm or a boring uninteresting person or a nerd because I like reading and I am super ambitious when it comes to learning different topics of my liking.
But it's fine.

I don't judge them cause I realize that everyone has their own way of escaping from reality. There's no fixed way or the only way to do so.

I've honestly not always loved reading or learning.
I used to like playing outside in the sun, in the grass, with people who shared the same interest.
But once I started reading, (books without pictures, excuse you!) I totally liked the way I could imagine and visualize the things I read and the loved the sensation of being in a different dimension. And also the way I'd get surprised when I came back to reality and realized that all I was imagining, was in my mind. Similar to the experience of a thought train I guess.

Learning and reading is fun. They go hand in hand...(in many cases)
I've learnt a lot, thanks to the many books and articles I've read and I really would love to thank the authors who put in so much effort to share their knowledge and experiences with such people like me! 

Auditions

Although you can say I messed up my audition for a music competition a few weeks ago...I still consider auditioning a good thing to do.

For starters, I made new friends. In my normal regular routine life, it's pretty difficult to differentiate and know who's a musician in class. (mainly cause musicians don't have a certain look)

It's amazing to have friends who share a musical passion and have the commitment & the long enduring patience it takes to learn music.

Secondly, I finally completed learning a piece that I always wanted to, but lacked the motivation to do so. Keeping the auditions as the "deadline" to finish mastering the piece, it surely helped me find motivation to do it. I honestly have been putting this piece on a constant hold before signing up for these auditions.

Thirdly, It gives you a reality check. Many a times, I tend to think I know it all in music. But the truth is....I don't. And even the most skilled and professional musician needs to be humble enough to realize that they can't know it all when it comes to music cause of the ocean of musical knowledge that keeps extending as the number of compositions keep accumulating.

I came to know about the brilliantly talented people around me and basically how much I still need to learn and I still need to practice to get to that level of expertise. 

And the thing about learning is that...it never can be fully accomplished...but that is what makes it so attractive and daring.

Next, is the fact that I never challenge myself enough and that's what holds me back from becoming better. It takes courage, okay? It takes courage to walk in front of a crowd and play a piece on an instrument by-heart, fully knowing that they may not like it, they may hate you, they may judge you for it and you may not live up to their standards. But do so anyway. Why? Because it helps you build yourself some confidence and courage.

Now, by all that I've expressed to you right now, you maybe thinking that I got selected for the main event...but the thing is...I didn't. And I know I avoided playing my instrument for about a week after that cause I couldn't stand the memory of my auditions. 

But then, I'm glad I didn't give up because I gained experience, I went out of my box for once, I achieved something that I normally wouldn't do. 

I won over my fears of embarrassing myself that day...and that for me...is a great reward in itself.

What makes you happy?

It sure has been quite hectic lately...college life is really busy...All  the travelling, socializing, studying, practicing, thinking and choosing.
There's so much to do and only so many hours in a day. 
Apart from hurrying to the next place I have to be at, there's always something in my path that makes me smile or giggle somehow. 
In a world that destroys people who are vulnerable...in a lifestyle that has no time for having emotions...it is all the more important to find something or someone that makes you happy.

Last week there were many times I found things in my surroundings waaayy too funny....like the cow who found himself stuck in the middle of the traffic and the chicken that crossed the road behind me (which made me think "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Before laughing about it)

Many things make my day. Even the parrots I saw the other day flying around coconut trees and drinking water from a baloney's birdbath...and the thunder and lightening, oh so loud, with flashes so bright that it made me rethink my entire life!

Incense sticks whose smoke make patterns in the air so beautiful that I can only watch and see the currents of the wind. 

The silence of the night when I'm trying to sleep... so peaceful, nostalgic and magical as another busy day meets it's completion. 

Looking over to my friend as she laughs hysterically to one of my terrible jokes...and realizing how much more beautiful she looks right now as the light makes her eyes twinkle in a way.

Many things make me happy, many things make me feel life is worth living...despite the dark nightmares and the momentary unreasonable sadness I feel from time to time.

So as I end this post...I want to ask each one of you (whoever even reads these posts).....
What makes you happy?

Body insecurities (Part 1)

I recently cut my hair short. I'm not quite sure what the hairstyle is called exactly.....but it's pretty cool. I like it.

I went to visit my relatives a few days ago and...as expected...they weren't too fond of it. Some of them liked it a lot.

I mean... I honestly don't get it. If someone likes something about themselves...they bring them to the dirt. 

I'm pretty sure everyone has their own insecurities. But I have come to accept mine. 

People who haven't accepted their own insecurities tend to display it outwardly on other people by criticizing them. 

Now,  I know...it shouldn't bother me if I know the cause behind their behavior. But honestly? It does. People who have a habit of endless criticism, leave a trail of hurt everywhere they go.


Before when I used to let criticism get to my head, it used to control me. 

You see, I've always been skinny as a kid. And even now...being a teen...I still am skinny.

So I used to get a lot of comments like "Eat well" and "You like a dry fish" and "Don't diet or starve yourself".

These things used to really hurt me at first...even though I used eat my portion of food properly.
I used to never diet. I used eat when I was bored. But my metabolism was so strong so I used to still appear skinny.

My insecurities led me to over-eating, stress-eating....while trying all kinds of weird tricks and consumption of whey proteins and powders that guaranteed weight gain.
I even tried hogging on junk food to get me to gain weight.
I tried exercising as well to boost my appetite.

But nothing worked.

And you know what I did after all that trying??

I gave up. I accepted myself for what it was and I made peace with my body.

It's been a rough ride, and I know my body has done and been through much. I'm proud of my body. Because it proved to me...not them...that yeah, I am healthy!   

Even though according to my BMI...I'm supposed to be underweight...I know in my busy life...my body has almost never come in my way to leading my lifestyle.

I travel a lot...I walk a lot...I sing a lot.

And my body co-ordinates and meets up to all my daily demands of stress and strain.

And so when I left my relatives house. I cut myself off their negative energy I was bombarded with while being there.

Because it's a different kind of happiness that comes from being happy in your own territory. That happiness they may never know. Unfortunately. 

Lost motive (poem)

Does he feel dead?

Does he feel scared?

Born amidst a race against time and yielding so little in return

Have you lost your touch?

Have you forgotten how to love yourself ?

Comparing your light with your brothers darkness is no way to live life

Hurting yourself so to make your brother a happy lad

No time to do these fairly odd small jobs, I say

I'll do it some other day

Not thoughtful enough to know that your everyday other work depends on these odd jobs

And so he has lost his motive

We lack in Patience

The importance of patience didn't dawn to me until my focus was brought back from a long lecture for a second when my English Professor yelled "Patience" during the explanation of a chapter.

"Patience! Patience is very important in life!" I heard her shouting.

This short, probably unintentional phrase that she muttered might have been a pure coincidence but it clicked something in my mind that got me thinking.

I traveled back home in a gloomy face with a thought that disturbed me. I looked out of the bus window and saw some people fighting about each other's driving skills. They didn't have the patience to wait till the traffic signal allowed them the right of way. And so they inconvenienced everyone.

The world would've been so much more different if we all had patience.

Later that day, I went to the mall to buy some stationary and at the cashier, some people were fighting about the price of the products that they had just purchased. After I checked my bill and received my bag back from the luggage counter I saw another person loudly yelling at the customer care manager with a furious red face. I looked around at the reactions of the other customers around me, I looked at the scared hopeless staff in front of that person.

Maybe the world really would've been a better place if we had the love to be patient to each other.

Lessons learnt from my stolen phone

More than a month ago, my phone was stolen from me. What disappointed me more than the loss of my phone was the way the people around me reacted. They looked at me like I was some sort of idiot...careless and clumsy. They looked at me with such faces. They looked at me as if I lost my life support.

Suddenly, they started asking me questions that make me feel worse..."Where was it?" "You should be more careful, na?" "How come you didn't know that it was missing?" "You should've kept it in your hand. Why didn't you?"

I have to admit...at a point I doubted whether I was even good. I doubted whether I really deserved to have my phone stolen from me.

But then..

Bad things happen to good and bad people alike. We shouldn't take it so seriously. (Though good people feel worse since they lead good lives)

    

My mind went into over drive stressing about it. "I hope they get what they deserve because they don't know who they're messing with", I thought.

The anger and hatred I felt in the week that followed the robbery was over-whelming. It consumed my thoughts. 

I lost my phone, yes, but along with that, I lost my peace of mind. 

I was restless, troubled and hurt that this incident took place in my life. "Why me?", I thought to myself.

So often in our lives people deliberately do things to hurt or annoy us. And so often we get worked about those things. 

Whether it's a plain nudge while you're writing something, whether it's a desperate attempt to have a conversation with you while you're clearly reading something....whether it is stealing a person's phone when they don't have the energy or time to deal with the loss.

People really get out of their way to hurt you or irritate you. 

But somewhere along the way, I cut myself off this constant worry and annoyance of these group of people who wanted to get the better of me. I cut myself off the pain and hurt I felt for the loss of my phone. And as a result? I got my peace of mind back. 

I realized that if I allow myself to think about revenge and how to hurt them in some way, I'm only gonna end up hurting myself. 

Somewhere along the way, everyone should cut themselves off the negativity that they experience. Because if those people who have harmed you, affect you in any negative way.....they win, cause that's what they intended in the first place...to hurt you in some way that you lose your momentum in life. Don't let them have their way.

Dear people-who-stole-my-phone,

Hope you enjoy my new phone that you stole from me.

I hope you realize that you have no control over me and my feelings anymore.

Do whatever you want with it.

I wish you the very best,

Pearl.

Will feel better someday (poem)

The sky is pink outside
You don't know what it feels like to be this way
But I'll feel better someday, I'll feel better someday
It's twilight, a time between noon and eve
You don't know what it's like to be in the middle
To both believe and grieve
It's so hard to accept the dim image I see in the mirror
Who I am and who I want to be
But I'll feel better someday, I'll be better someday
My heart has grown numb, I don't even feel anymore
It has gone through a lot compared to before
Yet it still beats fine
You don't understand what your unwanted advice
Had led me to give up so much of myself, a sacrifice
Just so that I'd end up alone again
With me being a stranger to myself
But I'll feel better someday
And I'll feel happy for me.