All the (skin) colours under the sun

I'm increasingly becoming more aware of the boundaries and limitations the people before me have established. And I'm becoming more and more annoyed of these boundaries.

One such boundary is about skin colours.
I've always been really insecure of my skin colour...since I'm brown in a world where paler skin coloured people are almost worshiped while darker people are seen as untrustworthy sketchy people.

I've been really self-conscious about my colour as a kid. Elders would discuss how tan I'd get playing in the sun. So? I stopped. Used all the fairness creams....used an umbrella as shield from the fierce sun and wanted to get fairer...never satisfied with the results I got. 
Overtime I gave up this high standard because it lacked sense to try so hard for something that's not meant to happen. Especially since what I was trying to change was part of who I am.

Few months back I learnt about how the exposure of sunlight causes human skin to create a sort of defense against what could potentially cause harm to the body. 
So if you're light or dark skinned.....it's a way you and your ancestors survived the problems that could arise with differences in the sun exposure in your region.  


I really don't understand people who talk nonsense about people with darker skin tones. It's so immature and irrational. 
I find it immature when people make fun of others for who they are and what they like. 

A few years after I got over my obsession about making my skin fairer...I found to see that the world was more beautiful when I noticed and saw all the colours. I wasn't only focusing my attention on one specific colour, because now that I really see...I find everything beautiful.

So ask yourself today...
Who's making me see the world in black and white?
Who's stopping me to see all the wonderful colours in between?
Because I like the variety of beauty I see when I look at everyone.....because everyone's beautiful.

Everyone's beautiful in their own colour.

(Theme will be continued in the next post)

Truths about learning the violin

(from my diary)

Few have asked me how it's like to be able to play the violin and I'm always without an answer...Because I didn't expect that question.

So here are the lessons or truths I've learnt on my journey while learning to play the violin. Though, it can be applied to most musical instruments and other creative hobbies as well. (Yeah, because all hobbies are difficult to maintain and improve)

1. You will injure yourself and/or other people with your violin unintentionally. 

2. Random jealous people will tell you directly or indirectly that you won't be able to do it or that you'll "eventually give up".

3. You will make excuses to not practice.

4. You will spend days and weeks and even months sometimes without practicing at all.

5. But when you practice daily, you notice clear benefits and improvements. 

6. You will become a perfectionist.

7. Many young people who play way better than you will get on your nerves. 

8. You may feel really competitive or entirely demotivated to play sometimes.

9. Your neck, back and fingers will hurt as you keep pushing yourself to different techniques, longer time durations and new pieces.

10. You will learn to appreciate napping/lying down more.

11. You will feel like you can't do it and consider giving up several times.

12. But you will never quit.

13. Because you know that with the strength of God that powers you to practice, be patient and persevere, you can do anything.

14. Even if it is, playing the violin. 

What are your hobbies? Tell me in the comment section. 

Learning Languages

Living in a country like India, you know the diversity in languages is evident when you travel and you hear someone have a conversation in Gujarati, someone reading in Hindi, while someone else asks directions in Marathi. And these are just the few. 
There's English, Konkani, Bengali, Arabic, Punjabi and Malayalam too. (Others too)

You don't have to read about the variety of languages in India in a school textbook to know it. It exists all around us. 

Thus, language both scares me and inspires me to learn more. 
It scares me as it comes as a barrier when I talk to strangers and so I get really anxious when someone seems to approach me to ask a question of some sort. Because I'm scared I won't understand their language. 

It isn't even that I don't speak or know any other language other than English. 
The languages I know in descending order of fluency are...
1) English - This being my first language, I can read, write and speak with it.
2) Hindi - This language I eventually learnt with fluency levels lower than English. But trust me when I tell you this, when I speak Hindi, I speak it with pride for my country. I can read, write and speak it at a slower pace than English.
3) French - A language I hated in school but after a short break, in college, a new kind of passion was kindled in me towards the language. I can read, write and speak (1-3 words at a time) in this language. 
4) Konkani - This is supposed to be my mother language but I never learnt it. I can only understand when people speak in Konkani. Can't really read, write or speak it.  


Language really fascinates me. When you learn a language, you automatically connect to the people living with that language. And that's quite beautiful. I would really enjoy the company of linguistically diverse friends. (I like diversity in my friendship circles in general actually.)
And so, it inspires me to learn more languages and improve my fluency in the languages I already know. 

In the future, I want to learn Marathi (properly) Japanese, Konkani and Mandarin. Let's see. The list may change as per my interests, time available, easy accessibility of language materials and many other factors.

Languages are something to be proud of. It's an integral part of culture without which we won't have any of the amazing lives we have and share with one another. 

I am even using language right now to communicate this piece of information to you...I know, so cool (and natural that we don't even realize how awesome it is in our daily lives or at least not always.)

Oceans

Strangers.

Are people only strange if we don't know their name?

Does a name really make all the difference?

People don't always live up to their name.

And it could just be a good thing, you know.

A name or what is seen on the outside (eg. looks and dressing style) isn't always what is a complete person. How a person behaves isn't always a good reflection of what's going on in their minds. There are well behaving people with chaotic deceptive hearts and there are bad behaving people with hearts bursting to love.  

I tend to assume a lot things in people by external factors.

And recently I found out how this mindset is only hurting me.

Because instincts are good. Some people give out creepy vibes which end up being true. But not everyone.

People are oceans and if we don't dive deep into their experiences and thoughts, we may just never find out what makes this person the way they are.

In the depths of a person's mind are their opinions, interests, dislikes, beliefs, past, knowledge and wisdom. And the treasure you can find in every person, in the depths of their being is....a reason to love them. Even if it is just platonic. All love doesn't have to be the romantic sort. 

Everyone has this treasure. Some people's treasure are more often found than others. But that doesn't mean those others don't have a treasure, all they need is the right kind of people coming into their lives. 

But you don't have to reveal the oceans of yourself to any random stranger/friend/associate. Be wise and discerning to know who you need to let in your mind. Because many people just wanna see your weaknesses. 

May such people be lost in seas forever, overcome by their own wickedness. 

And may you swim safely in the waters of your heart with the people who genuinely love and care for you. 

Note to self: I need to take more interest in getting to know people. 

Dear friend

As it is "Thanksgiving day",  I thought it would be reasonable to write a thanksgiving letter to all my friends.

Dear friend, 
Thank you choosing me out of all the people in our over-filled classrooms. Thanks for all the jokes we shared throughout class hours as the only means to survive the wrath & boredom of our teachers. Thanks for sticking up for me when our teachers/professors threw me out of class or punished me for petty reasons. Thanks for telling me my drawings were good even though now when I look back, they were terrible.....it was through your motivation I kept drawing and eventually got better. 
Thanks for pushing me towards meeting new people and trying out new things...I found out a lot about myself and the world. You extended my worldview, you introduced me to how beautiful the world could be. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and opinions with me. Thanks for all the support and encouragement you've given to help me be the best version of myself. 

Of course, then things changed and we had to go our separate ways, but I'm still grateful of you for...hurting me, choosing others over me, belittling me, silencing me, blaming me for your short comings, making me feel unworthy, ignoring me... and leaving me. 
   Because I know you didn't necessarily mean to do it (or maybe you did). You were pressurized to do it. You were conditioned to be this way. You believed lies about me over me. 

We all make stupid mistakes. We all have that embarrassing phase where nothing we did made sense to our future selves. 

But I will always treasure you and whatever memories I still have of you. I will treasure those remaining memories that haven't faded yet. 
My heart will never forget my gratefulness towards you, dear friend. Whether you were a good friend to me or a bad one, you helped me become better. And so, thank you.

I'm sorry to all the friends I've hurt. I'm sorry to all the friendships that I let drift away. I'm sorry to all the friends I needed to hurt to be "accepted" or "to prove myself to others". I'm sorry to all the friends I needed to let go of because we weren't the same people we were when we first began our friendship...I'm sorry things changed. I'm sorry I did.
I'm so sorry for the bad friend I may have been to you in the past. 


I understand I can't fix most friendships. Some friendships are beyond repair.
But just know this.....I'm rooting for you to do well in life with happiness, grace and love no matter what kind of history we have. 


From,
Pearl.