If Nature could talk

    With eyes closed I asked her, what do you think nature is?

She innocently closed her eyes, smiled and said, “Nature is green plants, birds in the sky and fish in the sea. That’s nature.”

“Do you really think that’s all I am?” I asked the girl curiously.

“You’re Nature?” she asked me with wide eyes.

“Of course, I am” I replied immediately.

    I always find it pretty funny when people print out labels on products claiming how ‘natural’ its ingredients are. What is unnatural really? Is there anything without me? Oh, you humans amuse me!

    People are very narrow-minded of my forms…as if I’m there in one and not in the other.

I am everything.

I am the roaring sea and the shining thunder skies. I am the quiet morning dawn and dew. I am in every birth and in every death fading into the earth. I am the chirping birds in the sky and the bubbling fishes in the sea & rivers. I am the bright warm sunshine…I am the cold depths of the ocean. I am the chaotic company of animals and the solitary nothingness of outer space. Everything you know, experience and possess is mine and you too are part of my existence. I am the universe and the universe is alive in me.

I am both death and life. I nurture and destroy…but really…who can destroy me? I am immortal, neither did you create me, nor can truly destroy me. But I can destroy you quite easily…Storms, droughts, floods, earthquakes, tornado, diseases and erupting volcanoes are some of the many weapons under my sleeve. I have more from where that came from.

Life progresses towards death. And then, from death begins new life.  That’s the circle of life that I orchestrate…and I assure you, from my view, it’s a beautiful medley.

    I will admit that humans are strange animals, never quite came across a species like it. Humans, so full of pride, fail to understand that I’m too complicated to comprehend and too strong & smart to be manipulated forever. Remember? There always has to be a balance. But your feeble and short human lifespans fail to grasp the vastness of the complexities you wish to tamper with, and thus, you’ll continuously suffer as I, time and again, try to bring about a balance in me.

    When I brought out the recent pandemic, humans stayed home and watched me take over their localities.  They looked out of their windows and imagined how beautiful this world would be without them, they wished for that world without their species. I found that strange. I sensed a sort of self-hatred in humans. They think they can’t be part of the beauty because they’re currently struggling to find a good co-existence of their species and the rest of nature. I am Nature and I realize that humans too are part of me.  

Humans are powerful and intelligent, but they should be humble enough to be at peace with not knowing everything to the degree I know myself. For its only with humility that one can learn.

Our co-existence is possible…don’t you believe it?

I looked down at the young girl near me, looking at me in awe of all that I have said. I picked her up and showed her the vastness of my existence.

    When she finally found the words to speak, she said, “You’re beautiful, Mother Nature. Can I be your friend?”

“You already are my friend, your species had just been a bad friend to me so far.”

She looked down in sorrow for a minute then looked back up at me again. She fumbled on her words when she tried to speak, but finally said the words I was looking for in every creature since the beginning of time, “I promise to do better, Mother Nature, I promise I’ll be a better friend to you.”

Just then, I remembered of all the humans who devoted their lives and energies into protecting me and the thin balance of everything. They too were my friends.

And so, we walked together hand in hand to tomorrow. We walked and talked. I told her stories of the lives that had taken shapes and forms through me. She enjoyed my company and I could say the same for her as well. Humans are strange feeble creatures who amuse me. I am fond of them. We walked into a better world where you and I were good friends to each other.

Originally posted on Syllable Soup's blog of St. Andrews College as the winning entry (1st Place) of the 2020 Creative Writing Competition.

Edited by Pearl Fernandes on the 31st, August, 2021

The Ecstasy of Letter Writing + A Letter Was Received (Poems)

With the letters that I wrote 

I put heartfelt words in a quote 

Dear friends & family, near & dear

I hope these letters bring you good cheer

From stickers & cut-outs of magazines

I create art with ribbons in between

Folding it, I place it in an envelope,

Wishing this also helps you'll cope

I think of the journey this letter will take

Perhaps across streets, vehicles, seas & lakes

I scribble on the addresses

And forget all of my stresses

Finally, the stamp I then place

Thinking of the smile on your face

I take a long walk to the post office

Handing the letters, I am so glad that I'm delirious

Post Script: 

This was a unforeseen surprise I got few hours after I published and shared my initial poem. 

This poem written by one of my good friends, Rishabh Jaiswal, was inspired by the above poem that I wrote. These two poems are like two sides of a coin, in the way it highlights perspectives of the letter writer and the letter receiver, which I found so profound that I just needed to publish this as well. Like a sequel to my poem.

Following is the poem he wrote back to me: 

"A Letter was received"

By Rishabh Jaiswal

I received a letter, a friend wrote to me

And the words in it sent me in a state of glee

I had many things to do, but I didn't pay them heed

I left everything aside just to give it a read

O! the magic in her words, nothing could be better

The letter she wrote to me is about writing a letter.

Morning madness

(My classmates will recall how I got inspired to write this)

Most of the Mumbaikars, living in or near the city are early birds... Or at least, have to be. We are awoken by our alarms, a sound we've learnt to hate. Waking up before the sun has risen is tough and we dislike it dearly... Unless there's something spectacular to look forward to during the day. We, the Mumbaikars, not fully awake without a hot cup of tea or coffee and a delicious good breakfast.

And so my journey begins the moment I step out of my door and walk towards the lift. I exit the building and the cold morning air hits me. Some are washing their cars, splish-splash, and there's water on the concrete ground as if it just rained. Making my way to the bus stop, I keep an eye out for coming buses, if there are any. I speed to the bus stop anyway. I then see a bus coming from a distance. Half a minute passes and it still appears to be afar. Is it stuck in time or just coming in slow-motion? The bus finally arrives and so, I hop in quickly and choose a good seat by the window. I take out the money for my ticket, the coins are all warmed up in my hand by the time the bus conductor comes to take it. He gives me my ticket. I look at my ticket for a few seconds before keeping it in my bag... Just another one for the already existing pile.

The wind is gushing in through the window. The bus driver has always wanted to be a racer. But at least I'll reach college faster if I'm alive at the end of this. Who am I kidding? I'm thoroughly enjoying the speed at which he's driving at.

I make "the sign of the cross" as I pass by the Church. I relax a little. But then I get anxious when I look at the time on my watch. I try to calm myself down by counting the numerous dogs on the sidewalk. They're out for their morning walk, along with some others jogging for a fitter lifestyle.
Most of the stores are closed, though many are beginning to open and set up for the day. I cover my nose and mouth at the sight of the garbage dump. And after it's away enough, I let out big sigh. I look out for my landmark building a little before my destination stop. Once I've passed it, I get up and get down.

I, then, walk across the junction, on a serious lookout for cars and bikes...To reach the other bus stop. As I'm waiting there, I try to observe and notice other people in the area who are on their own morning adventures.

A lot of us are anxious and in a hurry right from the start of the day. Our worry reflects on the clear expression on our faces. We're easily troubled by even the slightest of delay by any of the transports we rely on. Even the most trivial of extra space in between the 2 dominoes could spoil the chain reaction. Besides, a day begun well puts us in a good mood throughout the day. Or so, we believe.
Still dazed by the dreams of yesterday, we take on a new venture today. The first mission of the day being, of course, to reach on time to our schools, colleges or workplaces.

Waiting at the bus stop sometimes feel like forever. And to get to college, I mostly have to wait twice. Finally! I see the bus. I get in, pay for my ticket and get down. There isn't time to look out of the window and let my mind wander anymore.
From here on, it's by foot....a walk that lasts 3 mintues if you can walk at my pace.

On entering the college lane, I wear my ID Card and go through the college gates. I make a quick stop to the chapel and go to my class...Where I see my friends already seated at our desks. My class is the finish line to my morning madness.

There are some other classmates who just got here too, panting for breath. And when I see other students like me who made it on time, all I can tell them in my mind is, "Way to go, fellow racer, you've completed the race."

A normal summer day

Time goes slow, yet the days go fast.
There's no race to reach on time in the mornings anymore.... At least for now.
I wake up late in the morning. No, I'm not sick, just lazy.
Doing everything in slow-motion.

My to-do lists are filled with hobbies.
My movies to watch is a list, ever extending. And we keep making plans with friends and family we love to be around. Our golden days in the sun are spent with people we love.

Everyday is a day to chill out and relax. I look out of my window and see the trees happily sway in the sunshine as the wind blows vigorously. They seem to be enjoying their summer too. That's good. I'm with you in that, nature.

I realize that I'm spending more time in front of screens. Also, I'm rediscovering my love for art... Both to create them myself and appreciate art done by others.
It's an aesthetic fiesta and nature too is participating, with all its flowers and bushes, berries and leaves out in pastel colors... Though some plants are bold with their darker shades... A total showstopper.

A nice glass of tang or a cone of ice-cream restores me of lost energy I spent, after every outing in the hot summer heat.

I'd light incense sticks and candles in the evening and have a moment to write down all my thoughts into paper. The day turns into the night and the sky is still blue.... Though, a deeper shade. Don't you look at it and wonder of all the things that are to be revealed? At all the things that are to come... Come soon, good things.... Come soon, great things. Come and join me in my summer celebrations.

Marbles

She was sitting and staring at the outside world through her window. A pen in one hand, a notebook in the other. The soft salty wind was blowing. She was enjoying it thoroughly, though the pages of her book was empty. She was facing the sea. Imagining how close she was to it and it being full of life and mystery, thrilled her.

Then she recalled wanting to clean up and organize some of her belongings.
As she took boxes out, she found a box she loved dearly but always underestimated how much she did... It was a box full of marbles.

When she was smaller, she would play with them, making designs on the floor tiles. Mostly admiring it's beauty.

She did so that day as well, when she found it again. She admired the crystal domes once again. Time moved slowly around her. She lost track of it. She's a simple girl like that, gets amused with the simplest of things.
Then, she thought of a marvelous idea, she held a marble in front of the distant object in the sky, the sun. How could it not occur to her before? Could it be true?
Each of the marbles having an entire sea enclosed inside of it.

Validation

It's all he ever wanted. Him, a stranger sitting next to me...as we both heard all the things that has always been said to us. I felt his anger. I felt his boredom. I too felt it boil  in me. My blood is boiling from their stereotypes of our generation. He's tapping his feet in nervousness. He wants to leave and this has only just begun. I want to leave too.

I see the pain in his eyes when I look over at him. He's desperate for change and so am I. But they are the ones who call us rebels when they are the ones who lack understanding...they, only distancing us further. And further we go and further away we shall stay. We don't need your validation.

Originally written on 1st November.

An isolated place

Only today I realized how quiet this city could be. It was so quiet that it was almost scary. I'm totally not used to it.

Lonely streets and chilly winds blowing, I could only imagine the worst mayhem that could take place then and there. The chaos can be loud, but it lets me know that something is going on, if not nothing.

The trees offered me sufficient shade but I didn't take it. The people offered me enough mystery but I rejected it.

I really noticed the details, the passing crowds, the useless rickshaws that asked me if I needed them.... I didn't.

Why are things the way they are? Why does it seem there's always so much happening but not here and now?
Maybe they are happening but I'm busy being out of the reach of messagers who tell me everything but what I want to hear.

People can be disappointing. And some places bring out the memories of such difficult people.
But thankfully not all my memories of are bad and most are good to me.  

Like this place here, a place I've isolated for a long time.
Coming back here is like time travel. I still remember when you walked down this road and stood there beside me. I would like you to be here even now.
But wherever you are, the choice you've made or life made for you, I hope you're happy...no, happier.

Travel diary : Few days ago

Genie : What do you desire?

Genie says,
"People may look down on me for the bad wishes they make for themselves. And the rest, I guess they're just jealous.

I smell like metal cause of all the time I've spent in my lamp. But I'm telling you, I'm not a machine, despite the way people forget me in their own selfish demands no matter how much it taxes me to give them what they desire.

What do you desire? What do you truly desire?

You seem so sure of what you want. But what if that's not what will satisfy your heart?
Why do you think you know so well?

I'm a genie. I've seen my masters and mistresses, for centuries, wishing for things that don't bring them what they really wanted... And that is, happiness.

But who am I to say anything? My job is only to give you what you think you need.

Some ask me how life is in my lamp....if I feel crammed up in that small space there...if there's anything I keep there.
It's like I'm asleep when I'm not busy granting wishes... I have no possessions but I'll give you everything you ask.

I have nothing to do but to serve you. And I do enjoy people realizing the greed of their hearts and what that turns into. I enjoy people being disappointed and empty by reaching their goals without the lessons and character building of the journey. But I'm sure everyone will realize one day, it doesn't take much to be happy.
Trust me, take it from a genie."

Just for a while

He had been away for a while. Felt like floating away for a while.
Get out of his head, all crammed up with incomplete activities, unsuccessful relationships, blurry memories...all while not realizing the many good things he had set into motion by everything he had done right, even if it didn't work out very well for him in the short run. 

He looked over his short life and saw all the people he had come across, every soul he had loved, every art piece he appreciated, every part of him that he learnt to accept. He looked over them and thought, "Wow, things I thought wouldn't ever work out.....did, but I was too busy stressing about the next problem that popped up that I didn't take the time to congratulate myself."
And so, he did just that. Even if it was for just a while. 

For that moment he spent with himself, gave him the calm to face the storms of today and the uncertainties of tomorrow.

Just a little while longer, in this state. Just for a little while let him appreciate all the things he has done right. Let him just be. 

And when he opened his eyes again, he saw in his diaries, written in the different phases of his evolving soul that, every phase he had been in, made him into a better fuller person every time.....Every piece fit together.

My mind is a seashore

Thoughts...they sometimes clutter my mind a little too much. The reoccurring thoughts of worry keep resurfacing. So I force myself to not think about it. But it keeps coming up again in growing levels of annoyance. 
My mind is a seashore. I keep throwing these thoughts into the ocean...wanting to drown it. But again I see it on the shores...again and again. 
So I pick up the thought and see it...observe it clearly...without the waves of my emotion from distorting the truth about that thought. And so I see it and accept it for what it is. Suddenly, it vanishes. 
And I don't have to drown it no more.

There's still garbage thrown into the ocean of my brain. Comments and insults people have made about me over the years. Ideas and broken mirrors of who they want me to be....are the debris in this ocean. They keep being washed ashore. They are not who I am, no matter how they try to make me feel so. 

This rubbish being brought to the seashore, disturb me trying to make sandcastles. They don't let me enjoy the rocks, the sands, the company of the sea-snails and the soothing ocean waters of the undiscovered potential of my mind. 

I take out the trash, one by one. I hope for protection over my ocean. I extend my boundaries...I raise my standards of the people I allow in my mind. 

My mind is a seashore. And if you respect my ocean, you're welcome here. Soon it'll be clean and I will fully behold the majesty of all that it is....all that I am.  

Doodling during class

Life seldom goes by my plans. So? I doodle away. I doodle away, the class I thought would be interesting isn't and my friends are staring at the teacher with a blank expression wondering whether he even understands what he says. I'm looking at my notebook...I'm drawing. Classmates who are used to seeing me take notes throughout classes assume I'm doing the same thing. No, I'm not. I'm drawing of a world that only exists to me where no one could care less, where no one tries to stop me from dreaming.

I'm doodling, no rules and no end in mind. And somehow it still ends up into something that's pretty to look at. Isn't life too like that?
My friends finally notice I've been doodling and so they ask to see it...carefully they take my notebook and analyse the page. There's my usual class notes at the beginning and then the exact place where I drifted away into the smooth sailing oceans of a world without expectations.
- "It looks really good," She says, "and meanwhile I was paying attention to something I didn't understand."
- "Thanks." I say with a smile on my lips. I've got my thinking glasses on.
My friend looks at me and thinks to herself..."She's onto something."

Mermaid

I peer towards the top waters. The light barely reaches in these ocean depths. But I see everything. I see all too clearly. The blow fish, the coral reefs, angler fish, the shells of the old hermit crabs, sand dollars, urchins and sea weed. With only the lantern fish illuminating its surroundings every now and then.  Other than that, here, it's pitch dark to normal eyes. 

I stretch out my arms to flip back to face my friends, my fellow people. Most of them love to build. Our technology is quite advanced, I'd say. But I'm more of a traveler. I go far and wide...wherever the currents lead me. During my travels, I've heard of strange creatures called...humans. What an odd concept...humans! The good old turtle with all his mossy shell...like soft fur of some sorts....talks about the life he had experienced while on the top waters. The humans he says have civilizations like ours, big and mighty.

But what is as mighty as the oceans? Nothing. 

I'm pushing my fins to and fro as I swim around a great cliff I found as a child. Who'd want to live a life not in the gentle embrace of the beautiful waters? Who'd want to be limited to such an extent by gravity? 

I don't bother to hear another one of those stories when I see the old turtle talking about the humans to some younger folk. 

Life above the top waters is largely unknown. And no one knows how long the journey would take....maybe a lifetime. Though, I love my life here with my people, my fish folk and the beautiful life I've been leading so far. 

I swim fast, as fast as my fins can handle and stop at the furthest point outside my village. I look in the direction of the top waters and wonder, is there someone out there wondering what life's like on my side?

Oceans

Strangers.

Are people only strange if we don't know their name?

Does a name really make all the difference?

People don't always live up to their name.

And it could just be a good thing, you know.

A name or what is seen on the outside (eg. looks and dressing style) isn't always what is a complete person. How a person behaves isn't always a good reflection of what's going on in their minds. There are well behaving people with chaotic deceptive hearts and there are bad behaving people with hearts bursting to love.  

I tend to assume a lot things in people by external factors.

And recently I found out how this mindset is only hurting me.

Because instincts are good. Some people give out creepy vibes which end up being true. But not everyone.

People are oceans and if we don't dive deep into their experiences and thoughts, we may just never find out what makes this person the way they are.

In the depths of a person's mind are their opinions, interests, dislikes, beliefs, past, knowledge and wisdom. And the treasure you can find in every person, in the depths of their being is....a reason to love them. Even if it is just platonic. All love doesn't have to be the romantic sort. 

Everyone has this treasure. Some people's treasure are more often found than others. But that doesn't mean those others don't have a treasure, all they need is the right kind of people coming into their lives. 

But you don't have to reveal the oceans of yourself to any random stranger/friend/associate. Be wise and discerning to know who you need to let in your mind. Because many people just wanna see your weaknesses. 

May such people be lost in seas forever, overcome by their own wickedness. 

And may you swim safely in the waters of your heart with the people who genuinely love and care for you. 

Note to self: I need to take more interest in getting to know people. 

The start of something new

30 minutes to 5 o'clock....that's when I first felt the excitement, that the two most toughest school years was coming to an end. 

Before this minute my head was buried in my textbooks. I didn't know this feeling before I felt it. Maybe in smaller amounts....but never the way I felt right now. 

9th standard and 10th standard were both tough. The only way to the other side was prayer and hard work. And that was exactly what I had done. Sacrificing all my fun for my studies. I had forgotten what true happiness felt like probably. 

There I was....in the old desks of my exam center.....staring at my completed french paper, my last SSC board paper. 

A smile and an uncontrollable energy came to me. I felt like screaming out of the happiness. That moment was truly beautiful...the moment I realized that I had reached the other side that I had been working hard for. My summer had finally come, My summer of summers.

I looked at the other students in the exam hall. All their faces were cheerful and bright. I noticed the relief on their faces. Our SSC boards were finally over! The exams that lasted for nearly four whole weeks were finally done! 

The 10-minute warning bell rang. I nearly couldn't believe it. I quickly checked my answers one last time and then stared at my watch hoping the last five minutes would go by soon. It was the longest five minutes of my life. While revising before my exam, the time seemed to go so quickly, like sand through my fingers....but now? I had to just wait. 

The hot wind was blowing. A swaying window frame at the hall hit its wooden casing. We all got startled. That's when someone's watch beeped for 5 o'clock. I knew now that it was just the matter of a couple of seconds for my last SSC exam to end. 

The bell rang. It sounded like soft harps to my ears. The supervisor started to collect the papers. A wide smile came on my face as I gave her my paper. The friction of a second when I gave my paper, I felt as if a boulder was taken off of my shoulders. I giggled. 

Later while I was walking out of the premises I realised something.....this is the start of my summer.....The start of a new chapter of my life.....The start of something new!