A memoir of my SSC Result Day

I had bought a big packet of chips for standby; the server was buffering as I awaited my results. When the page finally loaded, my jaw dropped.

It’s common to be shocked on first seeing your SSC result, though your actual results could either go above your expectations or below it. Another exception would probably be that pack of chips I had. I take eating unhealthy very seriously.

My result was above my expectations. For a minute, I was surprised I passed. My mom and sister standing besides me said, “Of course you passed!”

But I wasn’t too sure.

I entered that academic year hopeful, excited and high on motivation to destroy people with my final results. Okay fine, maybe the last part was too exaggerated. But I still wanted to do well, who doesn’t?

As the unit tests, practice exams and preliminary exams went by, I got increasing bored of the same portion, the nagging and the hype I felt around me for the golden standard of 90+%.

By the time my actual board exams came, I was so tired of it, that I just wanted to get done with it, whatever the result would be.

That’s why I was surprised on my result day. I had great expectations when I came to the 10th std, but no expectations on my result day.

Maybe I grew numb. Maybe I learnt not to care too much about it. Maybe I realised how much people overestimate the value of SSC results and then stress out everyone else as well.

I didn’t reach the golden standard of 90% but I didn’t do badly either. I was content and more than happy that SSC was finally over.

A new chapter of my life was unfurling in front of my eyes…the new chapter of college life.

For the next few months, people I knew and didn’t know, asked me about my results.

People asked for my SSC percentage…

1.    When it was result day

2.    When I met people after mass, during receptions and at parties.

3.    When I went to secure my admission in college

4.    When I made new friends in college

And many a times...

5.    Randomly when I was walking from point A to B.

It was really frustrating. Actually, it was more strange than frustrating.

Then there would come the unnecessary comparisons with people I couldn’t care less about. People would be like, “Oh, you got only that much? My niece/nephew/son/daughter/neighbour got more than you with …..%”

Like, excuse me, did I ask?

Instead, I’d just laugh it off and consider them, as people who don’t know how to converse properly, like the ones who compulsively talk about my weight.

After those few months, there wasn’t a single word about it. I wondered, “Was that it? Nothing more? Have I finally made it to the other side of the tunnel? Oh great, they have something else to annoy people with now.”

I then forgot about it and everyone moved on. My SSC results occasionally came in the topic of conversation but it was so rare, and by that time I got used to it.

Years later, like today, I’m certain if anyone asks me, I will say, “I don’t remember” and sure enough, I don’t. The one who does remember is that laminated paper in my files whose only job is to remember it.

My point is, all the judgement and hype surrounding SSC and HSC board exams will eventually die down. Whether or not you base your worth on your exam outcomes, more exams will come and go…more challenges will come and go.

But you should always take care of yourself during these tense times. Eat well. Sleep well. Study hard but also know how to have fun and relax.

Because SSC is just another one of those things in life that people put on a pedestal, but isn’t everything. It is important, sure, but not as important as many people say it is.