Tuesday, 18 April 2017

Body insecurities (Part 1)

I recently cut my hair short. I'm not quite sure what the hairstyle is called exactly.....but it's pretty cool. I like it.

I went to visit my relatives a few days ago and...as expected...they weren't too fond of it. Some of them liked it a lot.

I mean... I honestly don't get it. If someone likes something about themselves...they bring them to the dirt. 

I'm pretty sure everyone has their own insecurities. But I have come to accept mine. 

People who haven't accepted their own insecurities tend to display it outwardly on other people by criticizing them. 

Now,  I know...it shouldn't bother me if I know the cause behind their behavior. But honestly? It does. People who have a habit of endless criticism, leave a trail of hurt everywhere they go.


Before when I used to let criticism get to my head, it used to control me. 

You see, I've always been skinny as a kid. And even now...being a teen...I still am skinny.

So I used to get a lot of comments like "Eat well" and "You like a dry fish" and "Don't diet or starve yourself".

These things used to really hurt me at first...even though I used eat my portion of food properly.
I used to never diet. I used eat when I was bored. But my metabolism was so strong so I used to still appear skinny.

My insecurities led me to over-eating, stress-eating....while trying all kinds of weird tricks and consumption of whey proteins and powders that guaranteed weight gain.
I even tried hogging on junk food to get me to gain weight.
I tried exercising as well to boost my appetite.

But nothing worked.

And you know what I did after all that trying??

I gave up. I accepted myself for what it was and I made peace with my body.

It's been a rough ride, and I know my body has done and been through much. I'm proud of my body. Because it proved to me...not them...that yeah, I am healthy!   

Even though according to my BMI...I'm supposed to be underweight...I know in my busy life...my body has almost never come in my way to leading my lifestyle.

I travel a lot...I walk a lot...I sing a lot.

And my body co-ordinates and meets up to all my daily demands of stress and strain.

And so when I left my relatives house. I cut myself off their negative energy I was bombarded with while being there.

Because it's a different kind of happiness that comes from being happy in your own territory. That happiness they may never know. Unfortunately. 

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