Face the music

I have a problem that bothers me a lot. I can't look at people in the eye when I'm nervous.

Somehow it makes me more nervous....so I look here....there...everywhere but the person.

It's a bad habit of mine that I'm trying to break. 

Face the music.

Once when I was playing a duet with my violin teacher, he advised me to always listen to what the other player was playing, not just pay attention to what I was playing. I can't just be in my own world...I can't be out of sync with the rest of the melody. Each tune is supposed to play out in harmony...that was what I was told.

Face the music...Face it.

Many of us learn all types of coping mechanisms throughout the many difficult events in our lives or lack of them. We were engineered to be problem-solvers, yes, but most of the time...we can't get out there and solve all our problems. We need to wait...write out strategies, do it and hope for the best. 

I've had lots of mal-adaptive coping mechanisms...ways in which I'd distract myself from problems and issues happening in my life. Not allowing myself to fully experience things playing out in my life...irrespective of whether they were good or bad, I was so used to being out of sync...I didn't realize it. 

What I have to do with myself, time and again, when I become aware of this is to ask myself "Why?". 

What am I so afraid of?

Why do I think I can't handle the thing I'm afraid of?

Can we (I, me and myself) draw out a plan for me to handle it so I worry less?

This method is very helpful for me. And yes, we don't have to run away from things that are difficult. We can deal with difficult situations too. (Don't underestimate yourself.)

I guess what I'm really afraid of is a negative reaction.

It's difficult to face yourself in these situations and prepare yourself to be strong enough to face any 

reaction...positive or negative.

But be confident in yourself to know that you can face both kinds. You can face the music. I know you can.