My journey through Mental Health

        I realize the opinion I was born into...that Mental Health didn't matter and I had to just tough it out. I thought therapy and psychological medicines were only for severe cases or for crazies but I was wrong. I now I realize there's a benefit that can be had for everyone.

       My journey began when one of my classmates committed suicide and I promised myself I would do everything I could, to reduce suicide rates in India. But it isn't just suicide, there are so many suffering mental illness patients that go untreated because of the stigma. I chose Arts and started studying Psychology, with an ambition to cure this country in whatever way I can, from the pains of having to suffer alone without required treatment. I wanted to become a psychologist. (I could still become one maybe)

        After a few years of conflicting reasoning with myself, I finally went for my first therapy session to my college's counsellor. She was great. We talked about so many things that bothered me. She guided me out of every dysfunctional rut I was in. She helped me become a better person and I'm so grateful for her. She inspired the article I wrote, "Good therapist, Bad therapist." She was a good therapist. She really equipped me with tools, I think I will always use in my life. I felt safe to have my mind in her hands, there was a trust between us and having her be so similar to me, really did help make that trust so strong. I felt like I didn't have to be a therapist if people like her already exist. The world felt like it was in good hands. My burden of thinking being a therapist would be the only way I could change the world had lightened.

Ever since my experience with her, I've been telling everyone to see a therapist and they've all been offended or annoyed at me. 

Why? 

It's because people still think you have to have something seriously wrong with you to go for therapy. 

I honestly felt that shame and stigma associated with it when I used to go. I would say lies instead of just blatantly saying that I'm going to the therapist, whenever I was asked where I'm going. I eventually got comfortable with saying I'm going for therapy, no matter what the reaction was. Everything unknown is scary, I guess, and then once it's known....it isn't scary anymore.

    A year later I went to another psychologist who wasn't so great. But it still made me feel better, having told someone about it. It isn't a surprise that she inspired me to write the 'Bad therapist' part of "Good therapist, Bad therapist." Though I'm sure she meant well. The fact is, some therapists don't work out. It's ok to go in search of others who will be right for you. 

    I find it utterly strange how slow the stigma for therapy is fading...everyday lives are lost to suicide...lives are ruined with mental dysfunction...or just the sad reality that some people constantly feel like they're living unsatisfactory or underperforming lives. Psychology brings us all together. It builds a path on how to be the better selves we want to be. It is so helpful if people just give it a chance.

Chances are, you're still not going to ring up a therapist and make an appointment for a session. But please, don't judge and shame people who do. Self-help books written by therapists also helps you better understand the way your mind works and how to better treat yourself...all in the comfort of not personally reaching out to a therapist for a session. 

    Everyone needs a little help sometimes. 

    That's the thing, we're never really alone in our problems. There always will be people who want to help you...whether it's a concerned friend/family member or a professional psychologist or psychiatrist. 

I know Mental Health Day 2020 is nearly over in India, but there's still so much that needs to be talked about and encouraged in our society. There's so much we can still do. 

The surprising message of "Cuties"

[Don't get me wrong, I agree the advertising campaign of this movie went horribly wrong and there might have been a better way to portray children dirty dancing without using actual minors. But this review considers the movie as a whole and not just detached fragments of it.]

    About a week ago I watched the media-controversial movie called, "The Cuties". This movie had attracted all kinds of hate and insults. I was well aware of everything as I watched a couple of videos, posts and news channel clippings of the movie. The hate was aimed at how bad the movie director was to make the minors wear sexy clothes and dirty dance. The movie was said to be a way people were abusing and sexualizing children. Then, I watched a video by "God is Grey" regarding the movie and I was like, "WOAH" as she said the movie was about conservative religion and growing up. The video she posted was mostly about the various themes of the movie, the hate it was getting, the intended message it was trying to send and that...I should watch the movie myself to form my own opinion on the movie. I was like, "Why didn't I think of this before? It's so obvious." 

    I thus began my own journey to watch the movie and forming my own opinion about it. I was very critical of it at first, but then the story began to engage me. 

    As the movie progressed I realized the biggest issue about the movie, wasn't the movie but the way it was advertised. The advertisement I saw in the opening week verses now, were two different advertising campaigns. An advertisement is supposed to be a realistic representation of the product. The advertisements before made me feel like the movie was all about young girls sexy dancing in short clothes...but the movie was so much more than that. No wonder the movie got so much hate, the reviews about the movie felt so believable...considering the advertisement campaigns. 

    I'll have to admit that the movie was hard to watch and it made it very uncomfortable, but not for the reasons you think so. The movie follows a girl, named Amy, in poverty trying to find who she wants to be when presented with two extremes, following her conservative religious family and the reckless rebellious dance group at school (the Cuties). It showed the pains of conservative religion on people and how difficult it was for Amy to make sense out of what was happening at home. It expressed how young growing children are so curious of the adult world and how much they romanticize the independence of adults. It showed the duality kids express in different situations...at one time, it's more convenient to use the "I'm just a child" card and at other times, it's more convenient to use the "I am an adult" card...this is a reflection of the confusion that goes on in kids' minds during this transitionary period where even adults treat them as kids or adults depending on what's more convenient for the adult in question. It revealed the holes and problems deeply rooted in our society in how badly we treat children's natural curiosity for the world around them, giving them little to no choice (that they feel the need to rebel) and how we don't explain things to kids because we don't think they'll understand. 

    And what about the dirty dancing? Well, since I'm not a pedophile and found it extremely uncomfortable to watch those scenes, I fast-forwarded it, unlike all the other reviewers, who only watched the movie to see & criticize those scenes. Like, c'mon! The dance scenes were only 10-15 minutes of the whole movie. 

    Personally, the movie made me feel a lot of things. I went to watch the movie with the intention to criticize it, but the story ended up being so relatable to me. I resonated to the main character and her struggles, though, on different levels. Growing up was tough for me too. I had health problems growing up that made no sense to me. The girl group I was in were also kind of rebellious and moody. I wasn't ever given a straight answer or explanation to the many questions I had. The internet was my solace as I spent so much time gaming away, "GoodGame Farmer" & other games....and seeing posts on Google+. I too greatly romanticized becoming an adult and the freedom to choose that would give me. I wanted to grow up quickly. I rebelled in ways and I did a lot of stupid things....I hurt a lot of people....the one person I most greatly grieve hurting was... myself. 

    Childhood and early teenage years are so confusing. The fact is, most of us didn't have supportive and accepting guides to help us on our journey. We were always silenced and pushed aside like children in the olden times, I guess nothing much has changed in that way. We were always underestimated and overlooked cause of our age....no wonder we wanted to grow up as soon as possible. Our society needs to celebrate the beautiful phase of childhood instead to pushing kids towards growing up prematurely. Society has failed to protect kids from having a happy childhood...so many children are born into extreme poverty, are harassed/molested/raped, are made to work for wages and are abused. Our society has failed to love our conflicting expanding minds as we begin to question the values and treatment we get. It has done a bad job at giving us a choice and a space to grow into mature young adults. 

    It really bothers me how badly this film was received by media. Children are being abused in reality by being pushed into sexy dancing and beauty pageants everyday. Kids' clothing at stores are made to imitate grown women's outfits instead of age-appropriate ones. Child YouTubers and other celebrities are growing up in the super critical limelight of the media. Child marriages and labor is being practiced as we speak. Those are horrible and don't get any media attention. But you're worried about the 10-15 minute video shots of minors dancing in a movie? Huh? 

These shots can be easily censored by blurring out or cutting it out from the movie without damaging the main story but what about these other problems? Is it easy to fix those problems?

    Childhood is about simplicity and innocence. It's about running around and not having any responsibilities. It's about exploring the new world around us. It's about asking questions of this new world. It's about laughing, crying and learning to express our emotions...and speaking our minds. It's about making mistakes and being given opportunities to learn to fix them & do the right thing. Because if we learn to live well, happy and balanced during our childhood, imagine what we will achieve as adults. Imagine that.