When asked what's the best thing about being a girl, I say that I am allowed to express myself emotionally without much fear of judgment....which is pretty true especially when expressing sadness in the form of tears.
However, as a young kid, I remember telling myself not to cry.... "Why?" you ask?
Cause I didn't want to be seen as weak, cause there's the stereotype that girls cry and are, therefore, weak. So I wasn't really letting any expectation down if I cried, but I still wouldn't.
I repressed a lot of such negative feelings in the past. But bottling emotions, only created more tension and I'd end up erupting once in while....all the negative emotional stuff.
Recently, I've come to realize that it is unrealistic to be happy all the time.
Many people would agree that it'd be nice to feel happy and hopeful all their lives. But life's tough, okay? And there isn't any shame in being a human with feelings. (Congrats if you are, cause we need more people like you)
Once, a few years back, when I was particularly sad and was crying out to God to take away all my feelings, I remember God telling me that happiness too is a feeling, did I want Him to take that away too?
Of course, it's expected to want to avoid negative feelings. It makes us feel uncomfortable. It even makes other people around us feel uncomfortable.
But maybe we're only uncomfortable because we've not accepted those feelings in ourselves. And that's where the discomfort comes from.
What's so wrong with crying anyway? I can't have it together all the time, No-one can.
It's obvious that I got over my fear of being seen as weak when I cry. Because I learnt that it's normal to.
Anger, sadness, frustration, guilt, fear and anxiety are negative emotions, yes, but to feel and express them in moderation is no crime. Especially sadness, because many avoid it like the plague.
Feelings are just that... Feelings.
They don't make you weak. (Yes, even guys who cry aren't weak)
They don't make you a bad person.
Each of them serve a function. (You could Google it, it's really cool)
They tell us when something is wrong, either with people, situations or maybe even ourselves.
Expressing your feelings properly actually make you feel less burdened by them. It makes you emotionally stronger because you're not afraid of your feelings anymore. It helps you to be there for people going through tough times. And it actually makes you be seen as stronger to some. People feel accepted and understood around you. And so, in return, others don't feel afraid of expressing their feelings around you.
Go into a quiet room, shut the door, sit by yourself, recall something that really hurt you but you never really expressed your sadness about it, cry it out and then move on.
(Be comfortable with your own tears first.)
Tears aren't that big of a deal as people say they are. Trust me, it's only their problem if it is.
Cause I didn't want to be seen as weak, cause there's the stereotype that girls cry and are, therefore, weak. So I wasn't really letting any expectation down if I cried, but I still wouldn't.
I repressed a lot of such negative feelings in the past. But bottling emotions, only created more tension and I'd end up erupting once in while....all the negative emotional stuff.
Recently, I've come to realize that it is unrealistic to be happy all the time.
Many people would agree that it'd be nice to feel happy and hopeful all their lives. But life's tough, okay? And there isn't any shame in being a human with feelings. (Congrats if you are, cause we need more people like you)
Once, a few years back, when I was particularly sad and was crying out to God to take away all my feelings, I remember God telling me that happiness too is a feeling, did I want Him to take that away too?
Of course, it's expected to want to avoid negative feelings. It makes us feel uncomfortable. It even makes other people around us feel uncomfortable.
But maybe we're only uncomfortable because we've not accepted those feelings in ourselves. And that's where the discomfort comes from.
What's so wrong with crying anyway? I can't have it together all the time, No-one can.
It's obvious that I got over my fear of being seen as weak when I cry. Because I learnt that it's normal to.
Anger, sadness, frustration, guilt, fear and anxiety are negative emotions, yes, but to feel and express them in moderation is no crime. Especially sadness, because many avoid it like the plague.
Feelings are just that... Feelings.
They don't make you weak. (Yes, even guys who cry aren't weak)
They don't make you a bad person.
Each of them serve a function. (You could Google it, it's really cool)
They tell us when something is wrong, either with people, situations or maybe even ourselves.
Expressing your feelings properly actually make you feel less burdened by them. It makes you emotionally stronger because you're not afraid of your feelings anymore. It helps you to be there for people going through tough times. And it actually makes you be seen as stronger to some. People feel accepted and understood around you. And so, in return, others don't feel afraid of expressing their feelings around you.
Go into a quiet room, shut the door, sit by yourself, recall something that really hurt you but you never really expressed your sadness about it, cry it out and then move on.
(Be comfortable with your own tears first.)
Tears aren't that big of a deal as people say they are. Trust me, it's only their problem if it is.
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