Changing the recipe for your life

Cooking is such a big deal and also not, at the same time. The act of eating and bringing people together motivates us to do it. We sit around the T.V. and watch shows based on it while we eat our meals...the food entertainment industry continues to fuel our addiction. And our addiction is fueled by our biological need to live and maintain our body. It doesn't even matter where you are....at any given point in time, the culture of food is a rich one and it indulges everyone who dared to partake in it. 

My own cooking journey has taken me to many situations. And no, I'm not saying this as a professional chef (cause obviously, I'm not). I'm just saying this as an ordinary non-celeb person who has had numerous experiences related to cooking. 

It all started as a child when I used to help my mother in the kitchen....cutting vegetables and fruits. Like most people, the first complete dish I made was instant noodles. Then this progressed into me trying out random dishes and enjoying the gamble of whether it would end up in something delicious or a disaster. Then I had a small break from it after a discouraging comment saying it was my duty to learn how to cook since I'm a girl. But now, I go back in the kitchen to make something new, motivated with the rumblings of my tummy and my curiosity to experiment. I've tried many dishes over the summers, this eternal lock-down and during times of random outbursts of inspiration. I've cooked with my family and friends....Especially my sister and mom during this lock down. It's a great way to bond and spend time with someone. 

I personally love the philosophy of lazy cooking. Doing the least amount of effort for making great food. 

Cooking is essentially edible chemistry. You mix things together, heat or cool it and create something amazing; that you can eat (hopefully) unlike traditional chemistry. The process can take over your senses, like an artist painting their masterpiece. The world just slips back and falls away...and it's just you, your ingredients, your cooking devices and the recipe. 

I act like a total pro when I cook. I read the recipe, evaluate what seems reasonable and what steps I can do without...add and subtract ingredients to my liking.....and use substitutes when there's an ingredient I don't have or can't buy in my country. 

Recently I realized how insightful the Indian way of cooking is, "To make do with the things you have." Of course, not everyone can improvise. But it's important to know when it is required, instead of running around 100+ stores searching for that one ingredient that could easily be substituted...Or crying in the corner, over not owning an oven. 

We all aren't born in the same place, with the same resources, tools and ingredients for our lives. We may have dreams of fine-dining dishes and expensive ingredients and equipment or...big dreams of success. But life doesn't always give us the things we most want from it. It's all so random. So rather than starving cause you can't get exactly what you want...why not improvise with the things you have? Substitute those ingredients for different ones at your disposal. It might be better than the mentioned ingredient in your recipe.

We read about the lives of others and expect the recipe to always stay the same. We push ourselves into rigid boxes and rules on how we too can achieve success. But the recipe to success is always changing. So.... Why not go out there and make your own?

Having a recipe to follow is a good guide. But food/taste preferences are so subjective. Hence, you need not frustrate yourself with the recipe, you need not live life to the standards and preferences of others...I don't care how famous they are. They are not going to sit and eat this dish you make...you are. They are not going to face the good or bad consequences of your life's decisions...you are. 

So make good decisions. Make your own dish...your own life. And to hell to anyone else who says otherwise. 

Another person in the crowd

Would the absence of one person be felt in local trains or crowded streets? Would there somehow be someone who noticed your absence and felt the emptiness inside them eat a void into their hearts? Would an absentee be felt in a class filled to the brim with students of all types, loud and soft, diverse and bland? Would the world so big and mighty feel your absence if you weren't in it? The quietness of outer space, with incomprehensible noises echoing in the distance, makes no sense, so holds no meaning to you....how could yours hold any meaning or worth then?

The stars make patterns in the sky, and you make patterns in the sand...only to be changed in a matter of time. 

So what's the use?

What's the value of life?

What's the value of my life?

Should I stay? Should I go?

Life is so unpredictable. We feel the highs and lows...and try to make sense of the middle. The middle sometimes being the feeling of numbness.

I notice the ones at the train station. Even if my mind wanders, I still scan your face in the crowds. When the vehicles on the streets pass me by, I look for your face in them. In the loud and noisy crowds, I look through each face, like browsing through a clothing rack, in search of you.

Where are you?

You are a loved one of mine.

Even if strangers, I recognize you and feel a sense of security and comfort arise in the familiarity of your face. 

I have an expectation of you at your bus stop and in the over-filled classrooms of my city. We might have never even spoken, but I remember you.

I remember when you ate a certain snack on your way home as you stared at your phone screen and laughed, almost loudly, at a joke you read. I saw your face light up at the sight of the sea and the salty ocean breeze as you took that path along the seashore. I noticed you from a distance by the way you walk and the silhouette of your body. 

I know you and appreciate having such a unique specimen to gaze at and admire.

I respect you when you're near, loved one...whether you're a friend, a family member, a helper, an authoritative figure, a colleague. I see the peculiar way you eat and the intricacies of your preferences I try to find out. I register our moments in my mind and recall them whenever I feel down. I say it sometimes, but not enough, "Thank you." But maybe when you feel the need to hide all your emotions because you feel you're too much, I should say, "I see you and I'm trying to understand how to be there for you."

I guess I'll never succeed in making this place and my heart as comfy and homelike as you need me to be. But I will always try to....and I'll never stop trying to. 

I won't lie to you...The world will go on without you. But to the ones who notice you from a distance or from up close....we will definitely miss you. We will feel a feeling of vacant space in our hearts when you leave. We will feel light-headed of the place in our minds where you were, when you were on our minds. 

We will surely feel the cluttering way worry comes...first a little, then a lot. Then it will all disappear when we see you the next time. After the short hiatus taken by you due to illness, family issues or other troubles. 

Maybe we are all lonely and don't make sense in this world. We sometimes question the roles we play in life as a whole. Some find purpose, some don't. Some find stability in that, some are fine with the ambiguity. We all need some recognition for our efforts. We all have people we admire and look forward to seeing though, be it a stranger or a known person. 

In this life we are but lonely. But know that there are always people willing to take their life's journey with you. For then, we will be lonely but together.

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