Is being understood even possible?

You can be in a room full of people or in an empty room and still feel just as lonely. Loneliness comes from not feeling seen, appreciated and understood enough. 

I'm on an eternal search of being fully understood. I sometimes think I've found it in someone but then they don't the next time. And I keep searching.

We sometimes put so much pressure on someone else to understand us when we don't understand ourselves. We don't know ourselves.

I used to think I knew me. But maybe that was back then....when there wasn't much about me that needed to be known. Maybe I changed... Maybe we're all constantly changing.

Then, I was given questions to ask myself. It was surprising but, I couldn't answer them as fast as I thought I could. Few questions took me many days to answer and the conclusion it led me to believe was this.... Even I don't know myself, then why do I expect others to? Even I don't understand my motives and emotions that well, how will others do?

Sometimes I act all mysterious and don't even give people opportunities to get to know me. Then I complain no-one understands? What the heck, man. 

But it's true, some of us don't allow people to understand us and so we end up misunderstood. 

Give people a chance, some may let you down....some may try their best but still not understand while some will....those are the ones you need to keep in your life. 

A professor once gave us a hypothetical example of a stranger coming up to us and telling us our friend is terrible and a total loser. Many raised their hands when asked who all will start arguing with him/her against it.

But I laughed to myself and said, "What does that random passer-by know anything about my friend? He/she knows nothing and so their comment holds no value to me. I'd walk by."

When I was a little smaller.... The opinions of others bothered me a lot. I would take every comment very personal. I'd get hurt or embarrassed very easily. But now, I think to myself about many such things....."What do they know about me? Nothing."

I really got used to the whole 'asking myself questions to know myself' thing. And got a little more used to asking myself why.

The world doesn't seem all that cold-hearted anymore. I don't feel the scary dread of not being understood by everyone, all the time. "Because I deserve love and care, even if it is from myself", that's what someone awesome once told me.

I'll keep these words in my diary and soul forever. Because the world isn't so cold anymore, if I'm a good friend to me.

No-one knows or understands me completely and I don't either. That's alright. A little mystery makes life a little more interesting.

Bubbling creativity

One of the reasons I sometimes don't pursue writing or any creative field as much as I want to and as much as people say I should is because I'm afraid of running out of ideas.

Creativity is not encouraged much in our educational system. And originality is not nurtured.

We love to copy the ones we idolize.

But in order to be the idol or the creator of something amazing.... This is a skill that has to be mastered.

I like to think I'm very creative. And I try to be as authentic as I can be.

The way I keep my creative juices flowing and bubbling away is honestly, peculiar.
We all have strange patterns to get things done. And one of the ways I achieve creativity is by learning.
I know that sounds dull and boring.
But don't you ever realise why we get such good ideas while studying? And feel so inspired to do everything else while studying?

I take advantage of this for my gain.
Just another good reason to study well.

I remember once when my friend needed help with writing a speech and I was on a study break. I was so tired of the studying that I gave her such amazing ideas that she was amazed at me. That was the day I realized, studying can be used for my creative powers as well.

Another way I use to pump up my  creative muscle is by writing a diary. I write about my day, how I feel, something cool I discovered, etc. There are days where I just write and write everything that comes in my mind about a particular topic that came up during my day. This is fun and I enjoy reading them later.
Also, it's a great way for people in the future to read about your life... Besides of course, having a blog.

Creativity is awesome. You find multiple solutions easily and think differently from most people.
Many of us creative people may end up in creative jobs.

But for me, I'll be happy with either.... Or even both, cause, one side always ends up supplementing the other.

A normal summer day

Time goes slow, yet the days go fast.
There's no race to reach on time in the mornings anymore.... At least for now.
I wake up late in the morning. No, I'm not sick, just lazy.
Doing everything in slow-motion.

My to-do lists are filled with hobbies.
My movies to watch is a list, ever extending. And we keep making plans with friends and family we love to be around. Our golden days in the sun are spent with people we love.

Everyday is a day to chill out and relax. I look out of my window and see the trees happily sway in the sunshine as the wind blows vigorously. They seem to be enjoying their summer too. That's good. I'm with you in that, nature.

I realize that I'm spending more time in front of screens. Also, I'm rediscovering my love for art... Both to create them myself and appreciate art done by others.
It's an aesthetic fiesta and nature too is participating, with all its flowers and bushes, berries and leaves out in pastel colors... Though some plants are bold with their darker shades... A total showstopper.

A nice glass of tang or a cone of ice-cream restores me of lost energy I spent, after every outing in the hot summer heat.

I'd light incense sticks and candles in the evening and have a moment to write down all my thoughts into paper. The day turns into the night and the sky is still blue.... Though, a deeper shade. Don't you look at it and wonder of all the things that are to be revealed? At all the things that are to come... Come soon, good things.... Come soon, great things. Come and join me in my summer celebrations.

You will heal

Few weeks back, I read about the experience a lady had, when she was molested as a child and how the wounds in her heart have never healed nor ever will.
I wanted to tell her so many things.
But I understand at the same time, about how it feels to be in such a situation.
It's a common situation but it isn't normal.

I learnt it very early on, that there was something wrong with being a girl. But later I realized that there was something wrong with the way the world sees you, as a girl. The voice echos in our heads like it's our own... It isn't.

We sometimes imagine the one thing that could help is justice in these situations. We love to throw the blame on the other for hurting us and keep on being just that...The one who was hurt and nothing else.

But it isn't about whose fault is.
Even when justice has been served, the one thing that remains the same, is the damage that has been done.
The question here is, are you willing to take the responsibility of wanting to be healed of the wrong that has been done to you? And to take the necessary steps towards that healing process?

But yes, by all means, do punish the criminal. It may not automatically heal you completely, but at least the crime won't be crime against another by the same person.

Justice does help, definitely. But it didn't change the past.

As women, as humans, we tend to severely underestimate our potential to heal. But I'm here to tell you that you will.

You were in this place before... Maybe not as bad, maybe it wasn't this hard before. But you did come out of it.

One very awesome lesson that a book taught me, was healing. The book was, "Anne of green gables".
Life does offer healing. And so does your body.... And guess what? The heart is a part of the body. (what a shocker)
Allow yourself to receive that healing.
And oh my gosh, believe that you will heal.
I believe in you.

In Search for the Truth in religion

When I was thirteen I went through a phase in which I didn't believe in religion nor god. I had lots of questions and I wanted answers.
When I asked for an answer, no-one ever gave me one that completely cleared my doubts.

I'd be yelled at for asking those questions in the first place. I was encouraged to have blind faith in what my group told me to believe in.

But I was a rebellious kid. I kept questioning. My curious mind didn't leave me alone either. So I kept offending people with my questions.

People who listen and answer your questions without getting offended, are a gem. But I didn't find many of those. I love to sit down and chat respectfully regarding these things. Because I don't mind being wrong as long as you give me good reasons. 

I mostly found my answers via reading several related articles on the internet, reading the Bible for myself, researching for information on the history of Christianity and other world religions.
The key is to look for answers in both sides... Look for answers supporting your view and against your view... Then merge your findings to create a well-founded belief.

I do understand that uncomfortable feeling when we find a good argument against what we believe in.

The sentence hits you like a train. You've lived in the shadows for way too long. The sun is out now... The truth is....and you're avoiding it in the moment. You can't believe your eyes. You've forgotten what it feels like to be under the sun. The darkness is more comfortable, the darkness of ignorance and denial is. 

At times, reality is too hard of a pill to swallow. But still swallow it.... Still come out in the sun. It's alright here. It's perfectly alright. As the sun hits your skin, you feel more alive than you've ever felt before. The truth embraces you and you embrace the truth....go now, you've been made free.

There's a lot of opposing beliefs on religion out there. So go out and find the truth for yourselves. There's too many people telling too many people on what to believe in. Leaders are good. But you are the captain of your life... You should be in charge.
Researching about your beliefs only strengthens them if found to be true. And well, if it's a lie... Do you want to waste more of your time believing it? Do you want people to continue to take advantage of your ignorance?

I'm not saying believe in who or what I believe in. I'm telling you to go in search of the truth yourselves.

Besides, I don't have all the answers. My questions keep shaking my own faith and beliefs many a times still. Blind faith isn't great, knowledge is power. Knowledge is your superpower, not ignorance.

How to easily learn French

    I've been studying French since the past few years. It all started back in my high school days, but I hated it back then. Giving myself some time, I really began appreciating the process of language learning and so I resumed learning the language, this time on my own, via an app called, “Duolingo”.

After that, I liked French and therefore, I decided to take it up again by studying it in the formal education system (since we had that option).

As a student, I get bored easily. Even when it comes to studying subjects I like. But I also wanted to do well and so I tried many ways to learn this language. Here are the best ways I found to learn French :

1. Establish why you want to learn the language 

Is it for travel? Is it for impressing your friends? Is it to get a good grade? Is it just for the sake of learning something new?

Get to know why you want to do something so that in times you feel demotivated, you can remind yourself why you took it up in the first place.   

2. Duolingo

If you wish to learn the basics thoroughly, this is a good way to. It's also helpful to get your vocabulary nice and sharp. You will get familiar with French words which will enable you to take up bigger, greater challenges in the language.

3. Watch a French show in a genre you enjoy

Or a show you already like, but in French. Use no subtitles at all. This makes you force your brain to listen attentively to the way words are pronounced and the conversations one can have in the language. It helps you with your sentence structure, keeps you interested and helps you speak the language for real.

I used to watch “The adventures of the Miraculous Ladybug and Chat Noir”. It was awesome. I highly recommend.

4. Study a little everyday

The difference between learning a language versus any other subject is the fact that you can learn other subjects the day before and probably manage passing a test on it. But when it comes to languages, you can't really do that.

So do learn a little everyday, even if it's just for 15 minutes. Just make sure, it's 15 minutes of dedicated study time.

5. Write things you would normally write… In French.

Your shopping lists, your planner, your diary… at least a few words/sentences will be helpful for you. This ties the language to your everyday life.

6. Google translate

This goes without saying. Download the offline French pack also if you need to. I can't explain how helpful this application has been to me. Most of the translations are extremely accurate. If not, there's always a dictionary.

7. When translating passages from French…

Try to find out the meaning for each word… Don't just blindly write all the translated sentences.

8. Travel to a French speaking place if you can

I went to Pondicherry. I went for a mass there in French. There were also many native French speakers around the place. I felt super dumb for not understanding much anything they spoke. But it was a wonderful experience, it reminded me of the fact that when it comes to fluency, it's an ongoing journey, I mean, I've been learning English since I was a child and I still learn new words every other day!

9. The curse of the similar words

French and English have lots of similar words that confuse me. Even within the French language there's similar words. Polish yourself in these areas, as they surely play tricks on your brain.

10. Try speaking it

Start with one/two word responses and work your way to more advanced  sentences. I'm still working on this one.

11. Switch the language on your phone to French.

I'm not talking about keyboard language….that would be cool too. I'm talking about your whole device. Try it out for a few days. See if you survive. (Try this out only once you're moderately knowledgeable of the language.)

Learning French is great. And so is learning other languages.

You could try these tips in combinations or use all of them. Tell me how it goes using the contact form/comment section below.

Did you find this post helpful? Do you have any other ideas to learn this language? Please let me know. 

*Please note : I said "How to easily learn French". Learning a language can't happen overnight.

Know more about my French Tuition

Do you want a war?

The news plastered it everywhere. India and Pakistan is in a soup. Everyone formed their opinions on the matter and got drunk on fear.

What if a war really does breakout?

War is a reality, unfortunately, for many of the people around the world. It's their normal routine. It's their "same old story"....day in and day out.

I don't want to live in the uncertainty of whether or not a war will begin and kill everyone including me. And I don't want anyone to live in such uncertainty.

Some people who may never see the effects of war may think it's just a game... "Blow them up, who cares? We're stronger, right?"

Wrong, it's being cowardly. Only a coward will hide in their comfort while young innocents waste their life killing other young innocents for the sake of showing who's the boss. Cowards hide behind a gun many a times.

It's so stupid. Yet some people around wanted war.
They wanted death. They wanted revenge. All for what?
For nothing.

There has been countless number of art forms and literature created to just show how foolish people are when they advocate for war and blood shed. But people aren't convinced.

How many more lives are to go down this path before we realize the value of human life? How many?

War makes things worse and it just doesn't create the atmosphere to love each other...no, not at all.

It's just one of the extreme effects of the "Us v/s Them" mentality.

I dream of the day, we all come together and put our guns and bombs down into a ditch and bury it forever. Life can be lived in harmony, even with people you disagree with. All that is necessary is respect.....mutual respect and a desire to understand.